Mad-eyed over-acting from David Tennant. Rubbish plots (all the same). Hopeless cheap looking aliens wearing ill-fitting outfits from the Beeb's props department.
And un-scary enemies riddled with fatal flaws. The Daleks are terrifying. But they're not much cop in a game of Twister.
The not-so-good Doctor's Christmas Day blockbuster Voyage of the Damned successfully preached to the converted. But those silly man-sized Oscar statue angels were as frightening as Bambi.
And, playing a waitress called Astrid on the intergalactic Titanic, Leon's X Factor sidekick Kylie Minogue sailed into stormy waters as a pretty young cutie looking for love. She's 39 for God's sake! And it showed. Mind you, Kylie fought an uphill battle against a clunking script. Handing the Doctor a snack, the poor girl simpered: "You might be a Time King...but you still need to eat."
Over to the Doc and his special brand of techno bullsh*t: "The electro magnetic pulse took out the robotics. Oh Bannakaffalatta - that was brilliant."
Unlike the writing. In a Poseidon Adventure rip-off, doomed Astrid's escape from the hellish hull of the Titanic ended in tragedy when she plunged into the abyss. Thanks to the Doctor (who else!) the vast flying vessel narrowly missed Buckingham Palace. But then we hit rock bottom. In her pink dressing gown and curlers, our grateful Queen looked to the skies and sighed: "Oh thank you, Doctor. Happy Christmas."
Hysterically funny. If you're five.
Sun Dec 30 2007 18:02:36 GMT+0000 (GMT Standard Time)